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Bereavement Support Honoring Your Love

There are many meaningful ways to honor the memory and legacy of someone you love. Just like grief, remembrance is deeply personal. Some people find comfort in creating traditions, setting goals, or giving back in their loved one’s name. You can carry their memory with you—even when they’re no longer physically present.

Below are a few ideas to help you honor your loved one in ways that feel meaningful to you and your family.

Ceremonies and Rituals

Many families find healing in small or symbolic acts that celebrate and remember their loved one.

Plant Something and Watch it Grow

Many caregivers find it healing to see new life grow in the face of loss. Planting seeds, flowers, a tree, or another plant in a place you visit often can serve as a living reminder of your loved one’s life. It can be comforting and meaningful to care for something that continues to grow over time.

You might choose to:

  • Plant at home or in a special place that holds meaning for your family.
  • Mark the plant with a sign, stone, or plaque in your loved one’s honor.
  • Mix some of your loved one’s ashes with the soil, if that feels right and is legally allowed.
  • Use seed paper hearts, which are biodegradable paper shapes with flower seeds embedded in them. You can plant them as part of a memorial and watch them bloom over time. These are often available online—try searching “seed paper hearts.”

Release a Lantern

Lighting and releasing a paper lantern into the sky can be a powerful and symbolic way to celebrate your loved one’s light while letting go of their physical presence. These lanterns rise gently into the air when the small candle or heat source inside is lit.

Some families choose to:

  • Write a message, memory, or prayer on the lantern before releasing it.
    • Sing a song or say a few words as the lantern is released.
    • Use this ritual as part of a memorial service, or do it privately with a small group.

Lantern releases can offer a visual and emotional moment of peace, hope, and reflection. You can find lanterns online by searching “sky lanterns.” Always check your local fire and safety laws before planning a lantern release. 

Participate in a Walk, Race, or Other Physical Activity

Grief can take a toll on your body, and many people find that physical activity offers a helpful way to release emotions, connect with their loved one’s memory, and feel a sense of strength and movement.

You might choose to:

  • Join a memorial walk, 5K, marathon, or bike ride held in your community.
  • Create your own event with friends and family in your loved one’s honor.
  • Write their name or a message on your race bib, shirt, or gear to outwardly acknowledge why you are participating.

Participating in something physical can feel empowering and healing. It is a way to take action when everything else may feel out of your control.

Scatter or Create Something with Ashes

If your loved one was cremated, the funeral home will provide you with their ashes. Some families choose to keep all the ashes at home or in a columbarium, while others find comfort in using some or all the ashes in meaningful ways.

You might choose to:

  • Scatter ashes in a special location that holds significance—such as the ocean, a mountain, a garden, or another place your family can visit.
  • Plant ashes with a tree or flowers to create a living memorial.
  • Create jewelry or artwork that includes a small portion of ashes. These keepsakes can be worn or displayed and offer a tangible way to keep your loved one close.

Be sure to check local laws before scattering ashes, especially on public or private property. If scattering is not allowed, consider using dried flower petals in a similar symbolic gesture. Your funeral home may also be able to offer guidance or referrals for creating memorial keepsakes with ashes.

Take Part in Religious or Cultural Rituals

Every faith and culture has its own way of honoring those who have died. You may reach out to your spiritual leader for guidance.

 Attend the Candle Lighting Ceremony

Each year, Texas Children’s Hospital hosts a Candle Lighting Ceremony to honor and remember the loved ones who have died and the families who continue to carry their memory forward. This event is held on the second Sunday of December, aligning with Worldwide Candle Lighting Day, a global remembrance event observed by bereaved families around the world.

The ceremony includes readings by hospital staff and bereaved parents, who share reflective writings, poems, and personal stories in memory of their children. It is a space filled with light, love, and remembrance, where families are invited to be present with their grief and feel connected to others who have experienced similar loss.

Before and after the formal program, families can participate in memory-making activities, view memorial displays, and speak with members of the hospital’s grief support and palliative care teams. The atmosphere is warm and welcoming, allowing each person to honor their child in a way that feels meaningful and personal.

Whether you choose to attend every year or just once, the Candle Lighting Ceremony is one way to continue honoring your loved one while connecting with a community that understands. You can learn more about the ceremony, including how to RSVP and what to expect, by reaching out to your grief support team or visiting our Candle Lighting Ceremony page. [link to Candle Lighting Ceremony page].

Setting a Goal

Setting a concrete goal can help you feel like you’re moving forward while honoring your loved one. This goal can be short-term (within the week) or long-term (within a few years). Here are some examples to inspire you:

Starting or Maintaining Physical Activity

Since grief often impacts the body, setting a goal to engage in physical activity can be helpful for processing emotions. Many people find that moving their body helps them take care of themselves and do something their loved one can no longer do. Whether it’s taking walks, joining a yoga class, or setting other fitness goals, physical activity can offer both healing and strength.

Completing a Degree or Starting a New Job

Some people are inspired by their loved one to begin a new career in their honor, especially in the medical or caregiving fields. You might choose to pursue a degree, or a new job, like nursing, therapy, social work, or child life specialists. These are long-term goals, and it’s important to give yourself time before making big decisions about your career.

Finishing Something Your Loved One Started

Your loved one may have been working on a project, dream, or goal before they passed away. Whether it was finishing a piece of art, completing a trip, or training for an event, you might choose to pick up where they left off and finish it in their memory. This can be a meaningful way to carry their legacy forward.

Giving Back

Research shows that helping others—also known as altruism—is one of the healthiest and most effective ways to cope with grief. You may feel inspired to give back in memory of your loved one or because you are grateful for the support you received. Here are a few ways to give back:

Join the Family Advisory Committee

If your child was seen by the Palliative Care team, you might consider joining the Family Advisory Committee (FAC) to share your thoughts and ideas about improving care for other families. Find more information here. [link to family advisory tab]

Volunteer

You may want to volunteer with organizations that provided care to your loved one, or with causes that align with your values. This could include volunteering at Texas Children’s Hospital, a community nonprofit, or a specific event.

Start a Foundation

Some families are inspired to create a foundation or program in their loved one’s honor. Starting a foundation can take significant time and effort but can be an incredibly meaningful way to continue your loved one’s legacy.

Make a Donation

Donating to a cause or organization in your loved one’s memory can help make a difference. Any amount is appreciated. Texas Children’s Hospital accepts both financial donations and items. You may specify which department or program you would like the funds to support. If you have unused medical equipment, reach out to your social worker for ideas on organizations that might accept it.

Create a Fundraiser

You can raise money for a program or organization that meant something to your loved one. This could include posting a donation link or creating an event or campaign that tells your loved one’s story. Texas Children’s Hospital provides community fundraising guidelines to help you get started.

Continuing to Honor Your Loved One

Honoring your loved one doesn’t end after the funeral. It can continue for months or even years as you keep their memory alive through traditions, memories, and activities. These ideas can help you carry your loved one’s memory with you in a way that feels meaningful. Remember, how you choose to honor them is a personal decision, and there is no “right” or “wrong” way to keep their memory alive.

Here are some meaningful ways to include your loved one in your life:

Including Them in Your Holiday Cards

Many families send out holiday cards with family photos and updates. You might choose to include your loved one’s name and a photo of them, alongside the rest of the family. This can be a beautiful way to acknowledge their place in your family and share their memory with others.

Keeping a Place at the Dinner Table

If your loved one had a special spot at the dinner table, consider keeping that place empty or placing a photo of them by their seat. It can be a simple, yet powerful way to honor their memory during family meals.

Setting Up an Altar or Memorial in Your Home

In many cultures, it is common to create an altar, memorial, or shrine to honor loved ones who have passed. This space might include ashes, photos, candles, and some of your loved one’s favorite items. Siblings might add their own personal items to the altar, reflecting their relationship with the person who died.

Doing Their Favorite Things

Many people feel closer to their loved ones by doing things they enjoyed. This might include eating their favorite foods, engaging in their favorite activities, or visiting places they loved. You might choose to do a combination of these things on special dates, such as anniversaries or your loved one’s birthday.

Memorializing Your Loved One Online

There are services available that allow families to post pictures, videos, and stories about their loved ones, and invite others to share their own memories. You can also memorialize your loved one’s Facebook page, allowing friends and family to continue sharing memories and stories on their profile.