Adoption as an Option

Pregnant women and those who have just given birth have the option to consider allowing their newborn baby, or babies if it is a multiple birth, be adopted. While it is an emotional and lifechanging decision, the good news is that adoptions today are a far cry from previous decades when a baby was “given up” for adoption and the records were sealed, preventing the birth mother from knowing anything more about her child. 

Today, the focus is on the emotional health of the mother and the best home for the child.

Adoptions today can be closed, semi-open and open, which describes the amount of contact the birth mother has with the child and adoptive family after the adoption takes place. 

Letting your child be adopted involves numerous decision points and possible complications. This blog discusses various aspects of adoption for the birth mother to consider.

Adoption is a complex choice

Adoption isn’t a decision to be made lightly. Just know that you have choices. These involve many factors that are unique to each person including where you are in your pregnancy, your emotional states, your physical needs, and what your support system looks like. 

It’s important to fully understand what each choice entails, how they could impact your future, and how you feel about them. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right away. It’s normal to need time to process everything, from emotions, legalities and contracts, what type of adoption to have, and anything else involved in adoption.

Emotions are likely running high. You might be feeling scared and overwhelmed right now. Those emotions are valid. But please don’t feel that you are in any way abandoning your baby. Adoption can be a very brave and selfless option to give your baby a loving family who can provide the type of life that you want for him or her.

It’s important to remember that you have time. Don’t rush – take the time to explore your options. And you don’t need to make this decision alone. Talk to someone that you trust or consider reaching out to a counselor who can provide you with unbiased support and resources.

No matter what decision you make, know that you’re making it from a place of strength. You’re capable of navigating this, and whatever path you choose, you will be supported. 

What to Expect During the Adoption Process 

Educating yourself is key to making the best choice for both you and your child.

Talking to an adoption professional

Making that first phone call doesn’t mean you’ve already made up your mind about adoption. But it’s an important step to talk with someone who truly understands and can clarify the process and provide you with the information you need — legally, emotionally, and socially. The more you learn about your options and talk to people that you trust, the more confident you’ll feel in your decision. 

Choosing an adoption agency or licensed adoption attorney

Look for a licensed agency that not only focuses on adoption but on you as a person. Find one that will work to know your unique situation and meet your needs. They should help you craft a personalized adoption plan, offer emotional support, and provide lifelong services to you, your child, and the adoptive family. They should be willing to help you explore all possible options throughout your pregnancy.

Creating an adoption plan

You’ll work closely with a caseworker from the agency to help you develop your plan. Together, you’ll navigate important decisions such as:

• Needs during pregnancy (living arrangements, transportation, medical care, etc.)
• Planning your hospital delivery and stay
• Legal paperwork and procedures
• Birth father’s involvement
• Choosing the adoptive family
• Choosing the amount of openness desired with the family
• Support and resources after placement

Signing legal papers to relinquish parental rights

This is often the hardest part of the adoption process because it’s when you officially make the decision to terminate your parental rights and place your child for adoption. In Texas, this legal paperwork can’t be signed until at least 48 hours after the birth, giving you time to process, reflect, and confirm that it is your choice for your child.

After placement

After placing your child for adoption, you deserve continued support to help you heal and move forward. Services from your adoption agency should include counseling to help you cope with the emotional aspects of the process and facilitating continued contact with the adoptive family (if that’s part of your plan). They can help advocate for you to build the relationship that you desire with your child.

Finding an Adoption Agency

When considering adoption, look for an agency that offers comprehensive services like counseling, legal consultation, and post-adoption support, and clearly outlines the adoption process, including open versus closed options. 

Research their reputation and experience with birth mothers, ensuring they prioritize your well-being throughout the process. The agency should respect your choices and provide information about all pregnancy options, not just adoption.

Here are some key aspects to consider when choosing an adoption agency while pregnant:

Comprehensive services: Check if it provides pre- and post-adoption counseling, legal guidance, financial assistance, housing support if needed, and access to medical care during pregnancy.

Open communication: Ensure the agency openly discusses all adoption options and allows you to actively participate in choosing adoptive parents.

Respectful approach: Look for an agency that uses respectful language like “birth mother” and acknowledges the emotional complexities of placing a child for adoption.

Experienced staff: Verify that the agency has qualified staff with expertise in adoption, including social workers and legal professionals.

Reputation and track record: Research the agency’s reputation by reading reviews from other birth mothers and adoptive families.

Transparency about costs: Understand all associated fees and expenses involved in the adoption process upfront.

Matching process: Ask about the agency’s approach to matching you with adoptive parents, including the criteria they use to find the best fit for your needs and desires.

Flexibility in adoption plan: Ensure the agency allows you to create an adoption plan that aligns with your wishes regarding contact with the adoptive family after placement.

Legal expertise: Confirm that the agency works with experienced adoption attorneys to ensure all legal aspects are handled properly. 

Important questions to ask an adoption agency include:

• What types of adoption options do you offer (open, semi-open, closed)?
• What kind of support services are available to birth mothers during and after pregnancy?
• How do you screen potential adoptive parents?
• What is your agency’s policy on birth father involvement?
• Can you provide references from past birth mothers?
• How do you handle unexpected changes or challenges during the adoption process?

Texas Children’s can help 

Texas Children’s Adoption Support and Care Coordination Program provides vital services for our patients who are considering adoption for their baby.

Each of our patients will have a different journey with us, depending on personal factors such as whether she is early in pregnancy, has a medical provider or has already made an adoption plan. No matter where she is in her pregnancy or is postpartum, we can help her navigate the next steps. 

Although the program is housed at Texas Children’s Pavilion for Women, its services are available at multiple Texas Children’s locations. Our Adoption Care Coordinator is solely focused on supporting our patients’ adoption plans and needs, unlike adoption programs at many hospitals that rely on staff who may not have formal training on adoption. 

Women who are considering adoption have numerous factors to consider before making any choices. Resources we provide include those for expectant parents and those for adoptive families. Visit our program page for program handouts and useful adoption-related websites.

Our Adoption Care Coordinator Jennifer Woolley, RN is available to discuss the Pavilion for Women’s adoption program information and to meet with you in person. Please contact her at jxwoolle@texaschildens.org or 832-826-2514.