Most parents know that a nutritious diet, regular exercise and enough sleep are key to maintaining the overall health of their teen. But what they may not realize is that a strong connection to family and friends, structure and a feeling of security are vital to raising—and protecting—teens.
“The leading causes of teenage mortality are the result of behavior,” explained Dr. Amy Middleman, adolescent medicine specialist at Texas Children’s Hospital. “Resilient teens who are able to make good decisions that lead to safer, healthier behaviors are those that experience a true sense of connectedness to their families and friends on a day-to-day basis.”
Parents can connect with their teens through simple actions, such as having family dinners on a regular basis, making sure an adult is available to answer homework questions or bounce ideas off of and staying involved with the teen to the point where at least one parent knows the child’s friends.
“Adolescents also can develop a sense of connectedness by being involved in an activity such as band, sports, religious programs or volunteering,” said Middleman. “It’s important to remember that when teens don’t feel connected, they’re at much greater risk for engaging in risky behavior as they search for something to be a part of.”
As children move into their teens, parents should not abandon the sense of structure that was an inherent part of the first years of life. Bed times, waking times, regular meals and family activities are all still important.
“Structure can’t be as rigid as when children were younger, but without any structure, teens don’t have anything to fall back on,” said Middleman. “Many teens who have no structure simply feel lost and, when they’re lost, they are more likely to try risky things that they mistakenly believe will make them feel better.”
Teens also need to know they have accountability for their actions and choices.
“Even the most mature teen may make a poor choice without thinking that it could impact his or her ability to get into college or future career,” said Middleman. “But fear of a parent’s reaction may stop him or her from engaging in an unhealthy or risky activity. Many parents don’t realize that just talking to their teen and making their thoughts or opinions clear can affect teen behavior. If being afraid of what Mom or Dad will do or say is the only thing that stops a teen from a poor choice, that’s a perfectly acceptable reason for a teen to not do something dangerous.”
And, according to Middleman, parents should remember that preventive health care doesn’t stop at age 12.
“An annual exam is not only about staying up-to-date on vaccines and having a teen’s heart and lungs evaluated, but it’s also the perfect time for getting anticipatory guidance,” said Middleman. “In many ways, the visit is as much for parents as for the teens as the parents can get some advice on common adolescent issues.”
School, extracurriulars and part-time jobs may make it seem like there’s no extra time in the day, but parents need to find those few minutes to make their teens feel secure and connected.
“The same things that make kids feel protected when they’re younger, help them feel protected as teens,” said Middleman. “The continuation of patterns leads to feelings of stability and security at a time when so many changes are occurring. A solid sense of structure and connectedness is the first line of defense for staying healthy throughout those teenage years.”
