Welcoming a new baby into the family brings excitement and a few challenges, too – especially if the baby has a big brother or sister waiting at home.
“Young children may or may not notice mom’s growing belly, but they will definitely notice all the attention a baby gets once he or she comes home from the hospital,” says Dr. Kenneth E. Cohen, a pediatrician with Town and Country Pediatric Associates. “Preparing children in a very positive way is the key to helping ease the transition of having a new brother or sister join the family.”
Share the news whenever you feel comfortable doing so, says Cohen, although toddlers and preschoolers may not fully understand until mom starts showing. “Most young toddlers can understand the concept of a baby, and their pride in becoming a big brother or big sister will only grow if they feel they are an important part of caring for the baby.”
Once the baby arrives, ask the child to help with simple things like getting baby’s diaper. “When a child helps or plays with the baby, parents should encourage him or her with lots of positive praise,” explains Cohen. “Emphasizing the positives helps the child feel good about being a big brother or sister.”
If big brother or big sister shies away from the new baby or regresses in some way, give him or her the space needed to adjust to no longer being the only child. “It’s completely normal for your toilet-trained child to start having accidents or for your older preschooler to start talking baby talk. Just try not to focus on it and it will pass,” says Cohen.
The most important thing parents can do to reassure their child that a new baby isn’t going to change the way they feel about their firstborn is to offer as much quality one-on-one time as possible. “Even several minutes a day can make a difference because the actual length of time isn’t as important as the quality of that time,” says Cohen.
Help your child become a big brother or big sister
