It’s upsetting and embarrassing when your son or daughter bites another person, but the behavior is common among infants, toddlers and preschoolers. Most children will bite or have bitten someone, and probably have been on the receiving end of a bite or two.
“Infants, toddlers and preschoolers all bite for various reasons,” says Dr. Matthew A. Wilber, a pediatrician with Texas Children’s Pediatric Associates of Pearland. “Infants often bite during breastfeeding sessions, and toddlers and preschoolers bite out of frustration or to get attention.”
Some infants clamp down during breastfeeding sessions, sometimes so often and so hard that it becomes too painful for mothers to continue breastfeeding. “This usually happens around 6 months of age when infants are teething,” says Wilber. “They bite to alleviate teething pain, but once they get a reaction from mom, the behavior may continue. The good news is that most nursing mothers and infants are able to work through the biting and continue breastfeeding.”
Whether or not your child bites during the breastfeeding months, chances are you will have to deal with the behavior as he or she grows into a toddler or preschooler.
From about 18 months to 3 years old is when most biting occurs – a time when most children have not yet developed the coping and communication skills to deal with frustration, anger or fear. Biting becomes an instinctive reaction to these emotions, explains Wilber.
Other times, a child may bite because they are seeking attention from parents or mimicking behavior they’ve experienced. For example, in a daycare class where one or two children are expressing themselves by biting, their classmates may begin to bite. “Children learn to live what they see,” says Wilber.
Wilber suggests the following strategies for helping kids overcome the biting habit:
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If an infant bites during breastfeeding, Wilber advises mom to end the feeding for a few minutes – even if it happens at the beginning of the session.
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Show your child the appropriate way to interact with others by modeling that behavior at home. Never act aggressively toward your spouse, children or anyone else. Children are very perceptive and pick up and repeat aggressive behavior.
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Make it clear that biting and other aggressive behaviors are unacceptable by firmly saying “no” or “no biting” and putting the child in time out for one minute for each year of his or her age. Parents should never bite their child to show him or her how it feels. Doing so will only teach them that it’s alright to bite.
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When a child bites a sibling, firmly say no to the child that bit and then immediately focus attention on the child who was bitten by showing concern and hugging them. This removes the “payoff” of attention the child who bit wants.
Ultimately, Wilber says, a child will outgrow biting as his or her verbal skills develop. If at any time parents become concerned about their child’s biting or if a child continues to bite after age 4, he advises parents to talk to their child’s doctor.
